How Men and Their Extra-Marital Affairs are Ruining the Institution of Family
In the last week I have come across three couples I know very well whose worlds have been recently destroyed by not only the man’s cheating, but by the resulting out of wedlock child. What is this? Is Arnold “The Sperminator” Schwarzenegger spawning a new twisted trend that is sweeping the nation? It seems to me that many men are not only finding it absolutely impossible to resist the temptation of cheating, but that they also completely disregard the emotional and physical welfare of their family life by engaging in unprotected sex with the “other woman”.
This brings me to many points. One is that I think it is safe to say that men (and some women actually) have completely began to disregard the notion of even attempting to raise a child in a family environment. In this age of instant gratification, people are more concerned with a moment of satisfaction than the actual consequences of their actions. Because of the commonality of this behavior, the stigma of being unmarried and raising children or being an absentee father (and even mother in some circumstances) is simply accepted. Women are embracing the term “baby mama” like it’s an endearing colloquialism that embodies strength and power, when really it is more often a term that represents bad judgment and poor decision making. In the meantime men are gleefully prancing about bedding as many women as they can, as the weight of fatherhood is clearly not resting on their shoulders.
Why are more men stepping out? Many married men, or even men in committed relationships are falling victim to the accessibility and the access of women today via mediums like texting, email, Facebook and other social networks. So is technology to blame? It’s one opinion that the rising curve of gadgets and online dating sites are driving men to become overwhelmed and result to caveman-like behavior. However technology coupled with women’s rising inhibitions are becoming a dirty recipe for disaster.
The most disturbing root of this problem is that cheating men, and their chosen women are more than often practicing unprotected sex. In an age where we are constantly bombarded with the dangers, statistics and tear-jerking stories derived from sexually transmitted diseases, these devious couples are ignoring all stops and continuing with their satisfaction conquests. Although not the most lethal result, unplanned pregnancies are often the most uncomfortable outcome from these trysts. Committed men completely disregard the possibility of creating another life and destroying the lives of their family and they continue to go forth with this disgusting behavior.
Men are slowly ruining the tradition and institution of family. In history many men have been known to step out frequently on their ladies, but the thought of having a child out of wedlock was often a source of such disrespect and immorality that it was typically not tolerated. Even prominent men who were known to cheat on their wives like John F. Kennedy, and Martin Luther King, Jr. only have children with their wives. Not saying that even cheating should be tolerated, but at least the cheater should have some candor and respect about themselves and their family. In this day and age, money and power and not even a deciding factor, broke-ass Ray-Ray from down the street easily has 4 kids by four baby mamas as well. Human beings today are being morally diluted in such a way that the results are beyond sad.
Guess who remains caught in the cross fires of these idiotic decisions. The children of course! Children born to the “other woman” are most often raised in single mother homes, many times stuck in a home with a single mother with a chip on her shoulder, which doesn’t always dissipate in the child rearing as something positive. Children who end up actually knowing their father are usually met with the realization that he has his “own family” while they are resorted to monthly visits or even sometimes just a check in the mail. How sorry is this scenario? All because two grown adults couldn’t decipher fuzzy judgment from their Chardonnay clouded minds? Not a good enough excuse if you ask me. The committed man should be more than ashamed for ruining two families for the price of an orgasm, and the woman should be ashamed at not exercising better judgment for their children’s future.
In May 2009 the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released a report entitled “Changing Patterns of Non-Marital Childbearing in the United States” and stated that 4 in 10 births were to unmarried women in the year 2007. A huge jump from 2002’s numbers with increases ranging from 13% for women aged 20–24 years and 34% for women 30–34 years. And don’t be so quick to blame the ”16 and Pregnant’ crowd of teen parents, the report also stated that in 2007 only 23% of non-marital births were to teenagers, with 60% of non-marital birth accounting for women in their twenties. The question to ponder is how much of this number is affected due to extramarital affairs and sorry decision making? I’m pretty sure there is no “I was the other woman” check box for mothers on birth certificate paper work, and if there was certainly no one would admit it even when it was true.
And that’s right I am not blaming just men out there. Women should also take responsibility for this bloody massacre of the family unit. I know of one woman who is in her late 30s and living a single gregarious life, while her 13 year-old son lives over 800 miles away in another state with his grandmother. The fact that this woman is comfortable while her child remains both fatherless and motherless, and is placed in the care of her elderly mother now robbed of her golden years is absolutely horrific. In spite of this anomaly, this woman went on to become “the other woman” to a committed man and became pregnant by him, and had another son. She is now raising her second son as a single mother. I mean really, what type of quality of life is this offering our children?
Men and women need to WAKE UP, and stop pretending that the world revolves on its axis only to gratify themselves and their immediate needs. Men if you want to live a life of sexual debauchery do everyone a favor and don’t get involved in a committed relationship, get a vasectomy, use a condom and screw until the cows come home. Women when you lay down with a man, ask yourself is this the man you would like to start a family with? To raise a child with? Not how much you like riding in his Lincoln Navigator, or how you feel when he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.
Children and families are serious business, and it’s high time we got back to remembering that and reinstating these almost forgotten institutions.
Posted by G. Rivi 
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